Excuse My Rant, But… Hypothetically Speaking…

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You know, life is really crazy. Crazy how things happen.

 

For instance, how you can be completely and totally in love with someone. And I mean LOVE. As in they have flaws you NEVER thought you could accept on anyone else… but with them there’s just something to where they’re the only exception. And you dress up for them and text them when you know something is coming up in their life or when you want to just talk. And you worry and care about them. And want to always help in whatever way possible. And everyone else sees this but that person. That has to be the case because otherwise this person is the scum of the earth. Which can’t be possible. Because after ALL you’ve done… they seem to give ZERO Fxcks. They DON’T respond to those endearing and caring texts, they DON’T ever contact you first, they DON’T invite you to hang out when they’re CLEARLY able to spend time with other people, they DON’T put any effort into you, and IF you were gone out of their life, they Wouldn’t. Even. CARE. It’s disgusting and frustrating and annoying. Like who TF does that?! Like who is that arrogant and evil?!?!?!

 

And the worst part is that you start to wonder “why me?” What’s wrong with me? What did I do wrong? I thought I wasn’t atrocious… I thought I had a great personality… I thought I was mature… and I just thought that I had a chance.

“Silly Kay, Trix are equivalent to men! They want perfection. And that’s not you. So you have 2 choices. CHANGE… AND FAST … or give up.”

And then, oh then, the worst part is when you believe they have a significant other. After they SPECIFICALLY told you they were focusing on getting their life together and weren’t ready for a relationship. And YOU BELIEVED IT!!!

 

So you get ticked off. Like I mean PISSED, with a capital PISS. And decide to give them space. Leave them alone. Then they wanna talk about how YOU actin shady?! Like ME?! MOFO you the one that done broke all the Ten Commandments (lying, stealing hearts, cheating, all them) and wanna just come back and act like we all good and fine and dandy. That’s not how it works!

 

So, no. 👎🏾 . Don’t talk to me. Don’t act like we all cheese and crackers because now we’re cheese and peanut butter. Like you’re getting in the way of my self care and you are so wishy washy and I can’t take it anymore!

… Like does anyone else get this way?! To the point where you’re done being nice? But that’s EXACTLY what’s wrong with the world is that no one cares or is nice anymore… so it’s like what are we supposed to do?!

Can I get a Witness?

Sincerely, Kay~

 

 

Loneliness…

Hey Kaybies…

I know my posts are usually a little more chipper but I just needed to get this off my chest. Maybe my blog is the right place to do it, maybe it isn’t. I’m just feeling some type of way and wondered if y’all have ever felt it too.

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I. Am. Lonely.

Now some people say “why”? You have family and a therapist and friends and coworkers… why are you lonely?

While this may be the case, people don’t really get what that means. Yes, I have a family… but most days I feel like the black sheep. Yes, I have a therapist… but we only talk for 50 minutes, once a week. Yes, I have friends… but most of them are away at school or working  to where we rarely get to hang out. And yes, I have coworkers… but we rarely hang out outside of work and I’m amongst the youngest at the job so I get the sense that I annoy them sometimes.

I’ve been feeling this way for a while, so I went to a youth rally at church today and thought it could be a turning point… but my Dad’s old phrase came true,  “you can be in a crowd full of people… and still feel lonely”. And it sucks. You think you’re going to a crowded event, so there’s bound to be SOMEONE who wants to hang out and have a cool conversation… but no. They say hi, or maybe how are you… introduce themselves and move on. And I shed a couple tears today if I’m being blunt because I was hurt and lonely and to be frank, I feel like something is wrong with me… but that’s a whole nother story.

I just wonder if y’all ever feel (or have felt) the same way… tired of the fake smiles and small talk., and just looking for true companionship. Yes? No? Hate hearing me be upset? Idk… just thought I’d put it out there…

Sincerely, Kay~

 

Welcome! (A little bit about me…)

Hello Kaybies! I’m so excited to start my new outlet for expression. I look forward to interacting with y’all and taking this thing to the next level. Now I’m not your average or typical [blog]… I’m kinda like a blog remix with all of your favorite artists. Be ready *DJ Khaled voice* for real talk and to stay caught up on relationships, makeup/fashion reviews, Recipes, top 10 lists, story times, and more! Welcome to the Kay-list!

Sincerely, Kay~

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(Me!)