I know my posts are usually a little more chipper but I just needed to get this off my chest. Maybe my blog is the right place to do it, maybe it isn’t. I’m just feeling some type of way and wondered if y’all have ever felt it too.
I. Am. Lonely.
Now some people say “why”? You have family and a therapist and friends and coworkers… why are you lonely?
While this may be the case, people don’t really get what that means. Yes, I have a family… but most days I feel like the black sheep. Yes, I have a therapist… but we only talk for 50 minutes, once a week. Yes, I have friends… but most of them are away at school or working to where we rarely get to hang out. And yes, I have coworkers… but we rarely hang out outside of work and I’m amongst the youngest at the job so I get the sense that I annoy them sometimes.
I’ve been feeling this way for a while, so I went to a youth rally at church today and thought it could be a turning point… but my Dad’s old phrase came true, “you can be in a crowd full of people… and still feel lonely”. And it sucks. You think you’re going to a crowded event, so there’s bound to be SOMEONE who wants to hang out and have a cool conversation… but no. They say hi, or maybe how are you… introduce themselves and move on. And I shed a couple tears today if I’m being blunt because I was hurt and lonely and to be frank, I feel like something is wrong with me… but that’s a whole nother story.
I just wonder if y’all ever feel (or have felt) the same way… tired of the fake smiles and small talk., and just looking for true companionship. Yes? No? Hate hearing me be upset? Idk… just thought I’d put it out there…